The In Between

I saw a post on Twitter asking, “What substance do I have to abuse to start enjoying life?” It made me laugh at first, but it also made me think about how the obvious isn’t always obvious. Happiness isn’t exactly a given. Maybe most of us aren’t actually happy in the deep, consuming sense of the word. I’m talking about the kind of happiness that floods every part of you rushing through your veins, seeping through your skin, impossible to hide even if you wanted to.

Anyway, back on track. I tend to wander.

For a long time, I thought happiness lived inside delayed gratification. I thought I always needed a goal or something to chase, somewhere to go, some version of myself to become. As long as I was moving upward, moving forward, I figured I’d eventually arrive at happiness.

But something unexpected happened.

Every time I reached a goal, I still felt like me. The illusion cracked. The magic trick revealed itself. The goals themselves were never the source of happiness. What I actually had were the journeys. The moments between one destination and the next.

I call it “The In Between.”

Life is mostly made up of in between moments, though we tend to focus only on the glowing orbs waiting at the end of the road. The vacations. The romances. The nights out. The milestones. And don’t get me wrong, I love those things too.

But most of my life is spent elsewhere.

It’s spent brushing my teeth in the morning. Taking my vitamins. Washing my hair every week. Going on daily walks. Feeding myself foods my body recognizes as real. Waking up. Slowing down. Existing.

The In Between.

That’s what most of life actually is.

P.S. If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I really appreciate you taking the time to do so. To know me is to know that I love talking lol I’m quite the yapper, so this is my little space for that. Plus, I just woke up from a nap at 7 p.m. which means I’ll probably be up all night.